Still alive and definately kicking.

Hello all. I am still here. I am still alive. I am still awesome. The road has been long and the internet has been scarce. Sorry about the bad typing, the keys in this internet cafe are very old and sticking. So, we have a lot of catching up to do. Luxor is where we left off.

I am glad to leave Luxor. It is a tourist town and basically encompasses everything I didn't want to have happen on my trip. Hounded incessantly by vendors, honked at by cabs and forced to barter every, single price down really is not fun. I have sort of decided that when I want to buy something, I will have to get rid of my "white tax". That's what I call a tax on being a "rich" white tourist. However, the Luxor temple was pretty cool. On the way out of Luxor, the ride was pretty nice. There is a lot of greenery because you're right near the Nile. It sure beats looking at the desert. The people are very testing, though. On one particular day, we passed through a small town where rocks were thrown. I took a large rock in the right bicep, but was ok. You can't hurt steel anyway. What was funny was that all these rocks were thrown by a class of young girls. GIRLS!!! Sugar and spice and everything igneous, clearly. That really got my blood boiling. One of our riders had a wheel bent by a rock and a poor Quebecois was actually knocked over by a kid riding a bike. Let me tell you, I have never wanted to kick a kid in the face worse than today. But, I suppose it's all in preparation for Ethiopia.

After Luxor, and the ride of doom, we arrived in Aswan. This town was much better than Luxor, but still had the white tax. By this point, I have made a few good friends. One is a guy named Ryan. Originally from South Africa, he is married and now lives in Dublin. Very sarcastic sense of humour, so we get along perfectly. His nickname is Princess. This came about because he always suggests activities, to which everyone agrees, and then makes us wait while he gets ready. Concensus is: he is doing his makeup. The other dude, named Adrian Munday, is an investment banker from London, UK. He is a hilarious guy who we call Mad Dog Munday. This name does not suit him at all because... Well, because he is an investment banker. He is only a sectional rider, so he will leave us in Khartoum. We call him Mad Dog because he fractured his skull when he was three and now has a limited range of motion in his left eye. We were gonna call him Mad Eye Munday, but it doesn't have the same ring to it. Anyway, in Aswan, I had McDonalds cause I needed some calories and some stomach-safe food. Let me tell you, it is way better here than in Canada. Your food actually looks like food, not some burger makings thrown into a shitty cardboard box with some lettuce. It was delicious. After the food, the Tripod (Ryan, Adrian and myself) took a felluca ride on the Nile for an hour. A felluca is actually just a really unsafe-looking sailboat. This ride was really nice, though. A good way to relax after a day of cycling. Abdullah, our captain then took us to the market (on commission, of course) to find some supplies without the white tax. We would need some food for the ferry across Lake Nasser. Overall, it was a pleasant evening.

The next day, we took a ferry (first class) across the lake to Sudan. Read that again. It sounds nice. And the ride was fun. But not fun like going to Disneyland. Fun like shoving pieces of broken glass up your ass and sitting in a tub of Tabasco sauce. The place was crammed. Full to the tits. Everyone and all of their gear and their family's gear and their family squeezed on through one door. Then you had to fight your way for a place on deck where you would sleep. We were supposed to sleep two to a room and two on deck. Thankfully, I organzied our room to fit all of our gear and all 4 people. Thanks again, military training. So, we were four people to a room of about 8x10. With only two "beds". And two toilets for the entire ship, which was about 1000 people. But these were not sit-down toilets. These were holes that you squat over and try not to piss all over your shorts while you fire out two-day-old Big Macs. Then one of our toilets flooded. You can imagine this was awesome. I sound bitter, but I'm actually here laughing to myself non-stop. This is going to be one of the more memorable times of the trip. It was great fun. You'll see photos. But at least the trip only lasted 18 hours. When we finally landed, we were the last to get off the ship. This was actually a relief. There would be no fighting to get out the door and sit in the hot sun. But guess what? We had forms to fill out. Four of them to be exact. All requesting the same information. So, we had to sit and wait for everyone to fill these out. After 3 more hours, this was done. On to customs. This was actually the easiest part of the trip. The customs officers did a baggage inspection where they opened about 10 bags, looked at them and closed them again. On to Wadi Halfa!